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You're mental health matters.  Let's start healing together!

Badges of Honor: From a Trauma Survivor

Disclaimer: This Blog is about the whirlwind effects on my psyche, growth, and development as a survivor of childhood trauma. The title theme is Badges of Honor – for each barrier both physically and mentally that I had to overcome. My goal is to share the stories of ALL my badges!

I’m inviting you to follow along as I reveal what worked for me and some of the resources from my toolkit.


Badge of Honor # 1:  Overcoming Fear

No More Shadows

February 2021

I​n a dark corner of my mind – she was there.

She was afraid to come out of the shadows and reveal herself.

She believed she was ugly, shameful and she was scared!

She was told to keep “it” a secret.

She was sexually abused, physically violated, and her psych manipulated to the point that the shadows had become her haven.

I retreat to her and we met in her safe place.

I encouraged her to come out. I reassured her that she was safe, loved, and needs to share her secret to help others.

This is OUR story, and I am a survivor.

I learned at a very young age that compartmentalizing my thoughts, and actions is safe. Having control over who knows the truth felt like protection, but it was also violating my life purpose.

I reveled in hearing other survivors’ stories, feeling compelled and proud as they made an impact on others. I often thought “Good for them, but I’m just me, a small ripple in the ocean.”

After many years of learning how to reconcile my own pain -- I still did not want to share my secret – until now. I realize that my authenticity and growth are inspiring. Trauma is a unique experience for each individual and 

if my story helps just one person then it's worth it to share.

When talking about “she” or “her” I am talking about me as a child. “She” was a hurt child, and through self-compassion and different therapies I develop into the strong person I am today. The trauma scars from my childhood are deep, and I still have rough days, however, the good days far outweigh the bad, and I created an amazing toolkit of resources to help me.

Writing is one way that I learned to heal, and I will share the many other ways I coped and worked through the pain.

My life work and passion are to be a mentor and therapist working with survivors healing from their unfair pasts. Perhaps by doing so I will help others find a way out from behind the shadows.

My childhood trauma is my superpower and I want to share my story with confidence and pride.


Badge of Honor #1: Overcoming Fear

Mastering My Demons

March 2021

I was in my 40's when I truly started to love myself, and honestly to write that sounds awful.  

Being a survivor is a badge of honor, but it's been really hard to accept my battle wounds as a necessary piece of my growth.  It took many years to reconcile the horrid experiences I endured as a child, and many more to realize the demons can be tamed.   You may be thinking, what demons?  I survived, but not unscathed from the tremendous psychological turmoil that stains a child's inner view of themselves.  I spent decades re-enacting in my mind the repeated molestation, and I created a plethora of evidence to manifest I deserved this abuse. 

Along with vivid memories, I conjured a long list of self-sabotaging thoughts defining my worthlessness.  The psychological warfare that was used against me as a child resulted in me perpetuating the self-hate for decades.  Insecurities about my own abilities plagued my academics.  Abandonment triggered my fear of building healthy relationships, and so I believed that I was never good enough.  I was eventually diagnosed by a Psychiatrist with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD), and I got the help I needed.  I won't get into the entire healing process, but I can acknowledge the strength it took to win the battle in my mind.  Surviving is only part of the story for people who have experienced trauma because everything about childhood trauma is more than skin deep. Now my demons don't define me, in fact, they are pretty much kept at bay.  I fought hard and developed a resiliency toolkit in case the demons creep out and question my worth again.  I continue to learn new and innovative ways to nurture my healing inner child, and I make sure to never believe the demons of self-doubt.  I am enough and if I can inspire others -- then I am thriving even more.

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